3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
