Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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