the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
They took my balls.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
