Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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