no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
