Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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