U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
