im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
