In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
