i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
