So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
