the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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