dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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