just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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