Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Sorry my hands just texted you
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
