remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
