his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
