i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
