I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
