I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
