I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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