If i come over, it means nothing
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize
