Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
