Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
