I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
