I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Is Oprah even human
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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