It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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