Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
