Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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