I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
