I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
