what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
