Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
where does the pee come out of this thing
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
