I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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