I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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