Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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