Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
