What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's rum buckets o'clock
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
