With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
