you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
