Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
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