There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Ketchup is God's man juice
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
