call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
