and you said cock pushups were impossible
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You left your underwear on the fireplace
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
