I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
