Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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