After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
