We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
All the doctor said was why
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
