In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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