New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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