so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
